Playing catch-up

Its been over a month since I posted anything. Truth be told, I was terrified. Spider and Spout seemed to be doing really well, I was just too afraid to commit that to written words, because each time we thought we were out of the woods, another kitten became gravely ill.

So, I took a hiatus from actively documenting their progress. But I just fell in love with them. It was such a joy to come home and spend time with them and mama Charlotte. They were desperate to explore the house, to run as fast as their little legs would let them, to be kittens. We ended up having them for about 9 weeks.

And last Friday, we had to say goodbye and send them back to the shelter to be fixed and put up for adoption to begin the next phase of their lives. I just don't know if its ever going to get easier to do that part. Saying goodbye in the morning before I leave for work, and forcing myself to get in the car and drive away knowing I'll never see them again is my Sisyphean struggle. Even after a week, a cat in my home feels like a part of the family. Its tough to come home at the end of the day — I'll have a momentary lapse where I start walking towards their room to say hello, and then suddenly remember that they're no longer there.

The good news is that Spout was adopted his first day out on the floor, and Spider went sometime mid-week. And I just checked the shelter's listing, and it would seem that even Charlotte has been adopted. My holiday wish was that they all went to good homes. I truly hope that's the case. They will always have a special place in my heart.

And the ashes of Itsy, Bitsy and Water are now here with us. We will be their forever home. Its amazing that something so small leaves such a big hole in your heart. But we will take this experience and apply everything we've learned to whatever may come in the future. In the meantime, I think we're hoping for a small break to emotionally recover and give extra attention to our girls.